"A mix of swing, Motown, and Top 20 hits calls guests of all ages to the dance floor, just as a festive “mocktail” makes for all smiles at the bar."—Kenny LaCour
You’ve selected the date, made your guest list, and now it’s time to start planning the details of your event. Whether it’s a lavish affair for 100 or a cocktail hour for a handful of friends, this collection of surefire tips from party planning pros will inspire your gatherings. Suggestions for every element from food and flowers to self-care and even which rules to break can help you throw a party your guests will not forget.
PARTY INSPIRATION
Cassie LaMere puts the finishing touches on the table for a Marrakesh-inspired dinner.
“Find an inspiration point and build on it: Inspiration can come from anywhere—be it a particular color, your favorite flower, a gorgeous container you want front and center, an applause-worthy recipe, or the changing of the season. Whatever you decide, use it as a jumping-off point, and plan the rest of the details from there.” —Calder Clark
“Take an active role in the party planning. A theme that reflects your own style, interests, or passions creates an innate connection between you and your guests. For her 50th birthday party, Jennifer Heebe took inspiration from a beloved Paris restaurant.” —Kenny LaCour
“Have an occasion or idea as a focal point. It can be as subtle as ‘Welcome Summer’ or as bold as ‘Vaccine Discovery Disco.’ Mention it in your invitation, and acknowledge it during the evening with a short toast, a poem, an interactive game or activity, or all-out themed décor. It gives your gathering a raison d’être and your guests a common thread—something to connect them. Connection brings meaning and purpose not only to our parties, but also to our lives.”—Frances Schultz
PARTY DÉCOR & TABLETOPS
“I wanted this dinner party to be full of confident color, spunky guests, and little surprises, inspired by the guest of honor,” says Rebecca Gardner. “Since I have a collection of vintage 1940s painted Chinese lanterns, I couldn’t wait to string all 175 en masse and really low over the tables so guests had to duck into this cozy, warmly glowing world of pleasure.”
In keeping with Rebecca Gardener’s style motto of “More is always better,” she confides, “I like abundant tables that show the effort, that communicate ‘Come in, sit next to a new friend, glow in the candlelight, and have a delicious meal. This little experience was created just for you.’”
“Bring out the really good stuff. I’ve been fortunate to inherit some fine tableware, and I am a firm believer in using what I have as often as possible. As Joan Didion once said, ‘Every day is all there is.’” —Alex Hitz
“Make it personal. Use dishes that belonged to your great-grandmother, pull out monogrammed linens with your family’s initials, or bake your mother-in-law’s secret cheese straw recipe. Invite guests to share in your memories—by sharing your special things, you make others feel special too.”—Calder Clark
“For tableware, the eclectic element is so fun. For me, some of that has been by necessity. I have a blended family, so we have a hodgepodge of things. But I think it’s also important to have a narrative. For instance, I use my great-grandmother’s little crystal bowls with her monogram for cheese straws and pecans, my mother’s silver pitcher to serve tea, and then I’ll mix in new ceramic plates from R. Wood in fabulous colors that I love. So there’s a 100-year span right there at the table. It tells my story.”—Margot Shaw
“An exquisitely-set dining table is essential. I always use my Ralph Lauren Empress dinnerware, Ricci Bamboo silver, and cobalt glassware. Fresh paperwhites, pepper berries, and greenery complement the look without overpowering the table. Simple, white, unscented taper candles add ambiance without interfering with the aromas of good food and wine.”—Barclay Butera
FLOWERS FOR A CELEBRATION
Michelle Nussbaumer styles her holiday table with a lush display of ruby-hued amaryllis, roses, tulips, and dahlias along with sprigs of evergreen arranged in assorted vessels. Other table accents include suzani tablecloths, Indian palampores, 18th-century Spanish pottery, and Swiss etched crystal with mountain scenes
“Well, no surprise, flowers are nonnegotiable for me! But I used to think I had to spend all day doing some magnificent centerpiece that a show dog couldn’t jump over because it was so high. I don’t do that anymore. I’ve gotten relaxed enough to know that more is not necessarily more. Most of the time, I cut from the garden, whatever the season. Got a pair of scissors? It’s as easy as that.”—Margot Shaw
“Set the tone with flowers: However, if you don’t have a background in floral design, 30 minutes before the party may not be the best time to try your hand at crafting an elaborate living work of art. No matter; even a simple grouping of a few buds from the garden can be just as impactful.”—Calder Clark
“I never stick to one big centerpiece in the middle. I usually believe in ‘many, mini, and low’ running the length of the table, but [sometimes] it is ‘many and lush.’”—Elaine Griffin
“I’m all about the vase. I love flower arrangements that look unorchestrated, and I’m a huge collector of anything that could possibly be used for them. I’m particularly drawn to vessels whose original purpose was something else, such as antique biscuit boxes or silver pitchers.”—Ashley Whittaker
“In a pinch, I’m not above grocery store flowers or roadside cuttings, especially since I lean toward loose bunches of mixed blooms in low containers for conversational convenience, or a mass of small mismatched vessels, each holding a just a bloom or two. It’s a small effort that creates a big impact. Whatever you do, do plenty of it. Nothing is worse than looking skimpy.”—Frances Schultz
“Loose floral arrangements attract more attention than uptight bunches. Let flowers spill onto the table.”—Rebecca Gardner
“Most people shy away from dried florals, but dried leaves, pods, and blooms—especially if foraged from the property—look just right in the fall and pair well with informal bohemian flower arrangements.”—Wendy Wurtzburger
“When designing for a farm-to-table meal with lots of platters or for a narrow table where space is limited, I use individual vases set in front of each guest or a posy of fragrant blooms set at each napkin.”—Mindy Rice
“All of my friends who know flowers tell me to only use flowers from the garden. I have loosely interpreted that to include ones that could have come from the garden. So when doing flowers myself, I will glean from my garden but also head to the wholesaler and use simpler—or should I say ‘humbler’—varieties, always keeping in mind that I’m not entering a flower show.”—James Carter
“When arranging flowers for the dining table, I combine seasonal fruit, such as plums, figs, and tangerines, with flowers, and scatter the fruit on the table so that everyone is free to enjoy. It’s my version of scattered petals.”—Chesie Breen
“I really enjoy repurposing things as floral containers, such as an ice bucket or a peach basket. If I’m in a hurry, I’ll swing by a garden shop and grab a couple of topiaries, plop them in terra-cotta pots, and put them on the dining room table. Done. If I want to jazz them up a little bit, I’ll buy a few flowers or cut some blooms in the garden and just intersperse them throughout the topiaries at the last minute. I don’t worry about water picks, as most things will last long enough for a party.” —Margot Shaw
PARTY FOOD & DRINK
Sparkling bubbles call guests to a tray of Champagne. “Some prefer slender flutes, and some prefer wide-mouthed coups—especially us guys with bigger noses. We serve both styles to give guests options, and because they look better corralled on the tray—less coordinated and more collected,” Bryan Batt says.
“I remember once reading about a well-heeled gentleman who said all that was needed to host a good cocktail party was to open a can of peanuts. I loved that. What he was getting at was that folks often fret about what to serve and the amount of work, so they don’t invite friends over for drinks. Silly! Store-bought goodness will make you look like a pro without breaking a sweat. Serve in your prettiest bowls and on your most fetching platters. Then sit back and enjoy your fête!”—Ted Kennedy Watson
“Once guests arrive, they tend to make a beeline for the bar, so a witty beverage menu makes a festive first impression. A signature drink, whether spiked or zero-proof, also infuses a hostess’s personality into the event—we’ve had clients name them after beloved pets, a favorite destination, and even a popular song.”—Cassie LaMere
“Always be prepared by having bottles of Champagne, Perrier, and Coca-Cola on hand, as well as olives, delicious cheeses, and gourmet potato chips.”—Alex Papachristidis
“Offer a festive ‘mocktail’ for the designated drivers, mamas-in-the-making, and other souls not imbibing.”—Bryan Batt
“I like everything about cooking—it’s creative and relaxing for me. My mom always said to never be afraid of cooking for lots of people. My ace in the hole is to make enough food that if there’s ever a total disaster there’s always something else to eat, and I never want to run out of food when I’m entertaining.”—Liza Pulitzer
For casual entertaining, Rick Davis and Christopher Vazquez like to create a menu and ask each guest to contribute to the meal. “Our friends love to cook, and this allows them to show off their talents. There’s usually a bit of history behind each dish, and it lets our guests bring their stories to the table,” says Rick.
“Keep the menu simple but delicious, especially if you’re a novice cook like me. Most people I know go to parties to socialize—not to eat. Leave the gourmet cooking to the great chefs.”—James Carter
“To avoid cooking a lavish meal in a cramped kitchen, opt for easy edibles that impress: tiered trays of seafood (such as lobster and shrimp) or caviar, crème fraîche, blini, and bubbly Champagne!”—Stephanie Booth Shafran
“Kipling had a great line about being able to walk with kings yet not lose the common touch. So if you have a really fancy first course, then have a really simple second course and dessert. There was a woman in New York who entertained beautifully and always served foie gras for starters, then meat loaf and mashed potatoes for dinner. Comfort food and relaxed elegance will always be in style.”—Alex Hitz
“We eat with our eyes first, so presentation is everything. Whether you’re the one doing the cooking or leaving it to others, incorporate at least one wow moment, even if it’s as simple as serving a heaping platter of fried chicken from KFC on your grandmother’s Old Paris porcelain platter.”—Cassie LaMere
Keep the hors d’oeuvres simple. Atlanta author and blogger Jennifer Boles reminds us that sometimes even the most stylish entertainers such as Albert Hadley took a low-key approach: “Friends who were fortunate to be invited for drinks at [Albert’s] apartment say he would have a tray in the kitchen, you’d fix your own cocktail, and he might put out a bowl of chips or Triscuits. That’s basic, but everyone would have a wonderful time in a beautiful setting with interesting people and great conversation.”
MUSIC, LIGHTING, AND OTHER DETAILS
"Remember the basics. Have lights on a dimmer, play great music, hand guests a drink as soon as they walk in the door, try to anticipate where people will have the best opportunity to talk. And candles. Candles everywhere!"—Reed McIlvaine
“The secret to a divine dinner party is lighting—it’s key to a warm, comfortable ambiance. Make sure the chandelier is dimmed and candles are glowing all around.”—Renny Reynolds
“Arrival is the crucial moment when guests decide, if unconsciously, whether this is gonna be fun. Dim the lights and cue the votive candles. Play lively music, but softly enough to talk over. (Turn it off during dinner; life is distracting enough.) Give guests a drink the instant they walk in. Prepoured glasses of wine prevent a rush at the bar. Offer nonalcoholic options too. As a (slightly bossy) hostess, make introductions. Scan the group for wayward souls and wing them in.”—Frances Schultz
“We start with jazz, and as night falls, we kick things up a notch—Blossom Dearie and Nina Simone segue into Roxy Music. We have a disco ball that spins in the basement, so the party often ends up down there.”—Jason Oliver Nixon.
“No matter how dressy or casual the gathering I’m hosting, I always make place cards when there is a seated meal and use them as another opportunity to play up the event’s theme.”—Lela Rose
“Mix it up. I love inviting people of all ages. If there are multiple members from the same family in attendance, I usually try to separate them and mix people according to their interests.”—Elizabeth Locke
“Party favors are a wonderful way for a host or hostess to show their guests how much their presence is appreciated. I like to take them one step further by creating a favor that reflects the giver’s personality or passion. It not only serves as a tangible memory of the event but also as a special reminder of the giver.”—Blaire Laborde
“It needn’t be extravagant, but a memento of the evening extends your gracious hospitality well after the party’s over. We’ve bid guests good night with bouquets of flowers to brighten their own homes or fresh-baked pastries to savor over breakfast while sharing favorite moments from the night before.”—Cassie LaMere
PARTY RULES TO BREAK
Calder Clark served oysters on the half shell from a vintage Danish bathtub.
“Sometimes I’m a ‘dessert before dinner’ kind of girl. Rules are made to be broken. Champagne glasses can hold water; red wine can be served in water goblets. Antique silver and gold electroplate flatware mix beautifully on the table. The only rule I’ll never break is avoiding the use of floral centerpieces that block conversation.”—Calder Clark
Get out of the dining room. Leontine Linens founder Jane Scott Hodges often opts for hosting guests in her parrot green–painted parlor and creates vibrant, saturated tablescapes to match. “It makes guests instantly feel like the party is going to be cozy and fun,” she says.
“I’m a big believer in engaging multiple areas of the house. People can mingle freely, perch on the edge of a living room sofa with drink in hand or a plate in their lap, and then move on to the library or outdoor patio to join another conversation.”—Michelle Nussbaumer.
“Of course I choose the table that fits best in the space, but I prefer small, rectangular tables when possible. It’s a myth that round tables are easiest for conversation. Once you go beyond 48 inches, you’re shouting at those across from you.”—Elaine Griffin
“We think dogs and children should be seen and heard at our parties—we’re really informal. I like the feel to be kind of like you’re just walking into my life, and the table is already set for you.”—Liza Pulitzer
“I collect antique linens, and I must have hundreds of them. The actual initials don’t matter—I pick them for the beauty of the monogram. You can find them at antiques shops and flea markets for less than it takes to buy new ones at a department store. They have a life, and when they get too worn, they go in the ragbag.”—Elizabeth Locke
“If your budget allows, hire some help in the kitchen and for cleanup. If you’re a little short, don’t be proud—ask your friends for help. But try not to make a habit of it.”—James Carter
“In a pinch, use collections of stones, feathers, jars, and wooden boxes to create beautiful tablescapes. Add snippets of herbs or single flowers in goblets down the center.”—Mindy Rice
“Tablecloths can be fashioned from loose fabric, potted plants can be centerpieces, and moss can be a table runner. Look at using items you have in fresh ways.”—Rebecca Gardner
PARTY PLANNING SELF-CARE
“A relaxed, confident, slightly bossy hostess (or host) is key. When you are relaxed, your guests can be too. Be completely organized, and leave little for the last minute. Hire help if you can.”—Frances Schultz
“Don’t sweat the small stuff. Relax and have fun hosting because even the best actors and actresses can’t hide stress. Don’t cry over spilled milk—or red wine. Think of a stain as a ‘parting gift’ from a guest who had a really good time. It’s a party, not a production! Don’t attempt to impress your guests—simply aim to inspire them.”—Bryan Batt
“In a time when so many things are hurried and rushed, the luxury of lingering is a treasure for sure. The gift of time, to yourself and to your friends and family, is a precious gift. It’s a gift not given lightly, but a trove to be cherished and stored deep within our hearts and minds. I am immeasurably blessed by these dinners of these good and perfect gifts.”—James Farmer
“Don’t redecorate a room or put your pets elsewhere—your guests are coming to your house, and it’s where you live. Sharing a glimpse into your life is part of entertaining and is as important as all the other aspects of your party.”—Cornelia Guest
“I’m a big organizer, so I like to plan ahead. But most importantly, I know I don’t have to do everything. I believe in picking the things you do well or like to do and seeking out others for what doesn’t come naturally. I’ve finally given myself permission to do that.”—Margot Shaw
“One of the best gifts one can bestow on oneself is to delegate when entertaining. Don’t become stressed or overwork yourself before a dinner party—have a bakery make your favorite cake!”—James Farmer
“Take it easy. If you can, set the table in advance so it is one less thing you need to do the day of. Don’t forget to pour yourself (and your grandmother!) a glass of wine, relax, and have fun! Your guests will feed off your energy.”—Elizabeth W. Cook
“Be relaxed—nothing kills the joy faster than a nervous host or hostess who’s trying too hard. And if the soufflé falls or the power goes out, just laugh and your guests will too—order pizza, light more candles, and do an impromptu reading from a favorite book.”—Renny Reynolds
“Go to town on the details, but know that things will happen. Children will run through the dining room, and a Baccarat glass will surely get broken. What are you going to do? The more stressed you are, the more uncomfortable your guests are going to be. A party is like a watch—you just have to wind it up and then let it go.”—Alex Hitz
“Don’t invite so many people that you don’t have a chance to talk to everyone. It’s better to have several smaller parties than one big ‘cattle call.’”—James Carter
THE BOTTOM LINE
Find beauty in imperfection: Planning a top-notch party can be stressful, so it’s good to remember that not everything has to look like a photo shoot waiting to happen. The point is to enjoy yourself, spend time with friends, and indulge in delicious food. As the ever-wise Calder Clark says, “Every dish doesn’t have to be homemade, nor every silver fork polished to a gleam. It’s okay to be real. I create an atmosphere that says, ‘You’re special and I love you, but feel free to put your feet up.’” And that sounds pretty close to perfect to us.
THE PARTY EXPERTS
We gathered these party planning tips from 32 extraordinary tastemakers and entertaining pros who know how to throw a party!
- Bryan Batt, actor, author, co-owner of Hazelnut-Fine Gifts
- Jennifer Boles, author and design historian
- Chesie Breen, writer, consultant, founder of NivenBreen
- Barclay Butera, author, interior designer, product designer
- James Carter, architect
- Calder Clark, wedding and event designer
- Elizabeth W. Cook, writer, creative consultant, entrepreneur
- Rebecca Gardner, event and interior designer, founder of Houses & Parties
- Rick Davis and Christopher Vazquez, floral and event designers, Amaryllis Inc.
- James Farmer, author, interior designer
- Elaine Griffin, interior designer, FLOWER contributing editor
- Cornelia Guest, actor and author
- Alex Hitz, author, chef, TV personality
- Jane Scott Hodges, author, founder of Leontine Linens
- Blaire Laborde, wedding and event designer, founder of Sarah Blair Event Design
- Kenny LaCour, event designer, Grand Events
- Cassie LaMere, luxury brand experiences, events, and weddings
- Elizabeth Locke, writer, jewelry designer
- Reed McIlvaine, event planner, floral designer, owner of Renny & Reed
- Jason Oliver Nixon, interior designer, co-owner of Madcap Cottage
- Michelle Nussbaumer, author, interior designer, Ceylon et Cie
- Alex Papachristidis, author, interior designer, TV personality
- Liza Pulitzer, real estate, fashion designer
- Renny Reynolds, author, floral and event designer, founder of Renny & Reed
- Mindy Rice, floral and event designer
- Lela Rose, author, fashion designer
- Stephanie Booth Shafran, author, celebrated host
- Frances Schultz, author, artist, FLOWER contributing editor
- Margot Shaw, author, founder and editor-in-chief of FLOWER
- Ted Kennedy Watson, author, founder of Watson Kennedy Fine Home
- Ashley Whittaker, real estate, interior design
- Wendy Wurtzburger, designer, retail and brand consultant
Produced by Jason Burnett
From birthday parties to anniversaries, FLOWER has seen some pretty spectacular celebrations over the years. See our collection of celebrations, get more inspiration for entertaining, and of course take a look at the fabulous flowers that decorated each celebration.